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How To Behave On A First Date: Some Do's and Dont's

Previously, we dealt with the issue of a man opening doors for the woman on a first date.  We didn't discuss so much specific acts of chivalry as we did the theory behind doing it or not (short answer:  it's about maintaining consistency). Let's say you are the chivalrous type.  Which acts should you practice, whether on a pre-date or first date?  Which should you hold back on?


  • Opening Door When Entering Car:  This is easy, doesn't embarrass her, and is a nice little touch.
  • Walking on Street Side:  Do this because you always do this; most women, unless they are accustomed to this, will not even know what you are doing.
  • Opening Doors on Buildings:  Who doesn't love this?  With the first door, though, you may need to jump ahead to establish this dynamic.


Use your best judgement, based on your reading of the woman.

  • Opening Door When Leaving Car:  Don't kill yourself running to the other side of the car.  If you happen to be there, and she's ready to come out, please do it.
  • Paying For Date:  This one is a funny paradox.  Even women who reared their heads back in horror when I tried to open a car door would somehow submit to this particular form of chivalry.  If you intend to pay, indicate so ahead of time, not when the check comes.


Most of these actions will freak her out or confuse her.

  • Pulling Chair Out For Her at Restaurant
  • Standing Up When She Leaves Table:  Too archaic.  Plus, some women may feel conspicuous ("Look, everyone!  I'm going to the bathroom!").
  • Offering Your Arm as You Walk:  Fun and romantic, but too touchy-feely for a pre-date.  Perhaps on a first (real) date.
  • Offering Your Cloth Handkerchief:  Most women will balk at this (even if you insist that it is unused).  In addition, she may abscond with it.  But as a true test of whether she is a keeper or not--let her steal it.  If she later presents you a gift of a new handkerchief, she's most definitely a keeper.

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