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OK Cupid Male Dating Profile Rewrite: Narcisstic Ned

After reading our recent re-write for woman's OKCupid dating profile, we were approached by a reader we have renamed Narcissistic Ned, a 45 year old professional, to re-write his OkCupid dating profile.  We found Ned to be a rather persnickety fellow with a good dose of the  "It's All About Me syndrome" and poor grammar and spelling. Here we show his original, crossed out, and our suggestions for re-write and comments in red.  We tried to preserve the essence of his personality, while toning down his brusque approach and tendency towards blabbing about himself. Bear with us-- this one has a lot of cross-outs. When you're done, check out this snazzy male OKCUPID profile that we stumbled across and got permission to share.

My Self-Summary:

I think its always best to be yourself in these kinds of situations.

TRY THIS: Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

Im doing the online dating thing because although I’d rather we met organically and saw that spark in each other, yes from across the room at some friends party (or one I crashed

TRY THIS:  Although it would be so much more fun to tell our friends that we met as our eyes locked as we were reaching for the mangos in Whole Foods, the reality is that we might never meet since I hate mangos.  (Isn't this amusing version better than his original, where he was rationalizing why he was doing online dating?)

First and foremost, I dislike drama, and if you have a lot in your life, it wont work for me.

TRY THIS:  One of my ongoing goals is to keep my life as steady and as drama-free as possible, and that includes surrounding myself with calm, reliable friends.

I flourish around others who are passionate about something, .Your sport or what have you, If you're passionate about something in your life and are willing to share it while also being non-judgmental, we will probably get along well. may be a good match! Partially because of this I find myself generally hanging out with people somewhat, to fairly younger than myself. I am not age biased, but rather I’m looking for that special person (or people) with a joie de vivre that matches or exceeds my own. I don't like going to do things that everyone else is doing.

TRY THIS: I'm passionate about photography, cooking without recipes, and figuring out how things work. I have a bit of MacGyver in me. My main drive is adventure, whether an afternoon wandering through a part of town I haven't been in lately, a weekend checking out the Herkimer Diamond Mines, or a week on the Napoli coastline. I like to find off the beaten path attractions.

If you’re passionate about something in your life, we may be a good match. I’m looking for that special person with a  joie de vivre   love for life that matches my own. (Lead with some passions of your own here, before requesting that your audience be passionate)

I am quite picky in who I let into my inner circle and although I can be somewhat shy, I warm up quickly once I get to know you, and am a fierce friend to the end. Hopefully you have a circle of friends as well. 

TRY THIS: I have an amazing circle of friends, and hopefully you, too, have a life that is rich in friendship.  You should know that while I can be shy in the beginning, I warm up quickly once I get to know you, and am a fierce friend to the end.

 I love to laugh and get to know interesting people. I am fluent in sarcasm, but prefer to use it sparingly. I attempt at all times to live my life intentionally through honesty, self-awareness, communication, and self-development. I feel if we are truly living, we are always a work in progress, just some of us are more defined than others.

TRY THIS: We are all works in progress, and I try to remember that every day. To that end, I love finding humor in as much as possible, and I admit to enjoying the well-placed sarcastic comment. Just nudge me if it gets too much (or kick me in the shins if I don’t get it). If I've favorited or rated you highly and you're wondering why, it's likely that I think you're awesome. It's even more likely that I'm waiting for the time to write you a well thought out note. If you're of a mind, don't wait, write me first!

N.B. For those keeping score, I am an INTP on MB

SEE THIS: My note to him about commenting on the personality tests mentioned above on some of the online sites: This is so overdone on OKC, so I recommend leaving this out.

 What I'm Doing With My Life:

Trying to figure out how to make a difference in the world, while living an authentic and purposeful life. I have my kids part-time, so when I am in parent mode, it’s all about them. When they aren't around, I am getting used to my new hood. exploring my funky new neighborhood.

I own my own business, and love what I do, but it also means I am able to play hookie hooky when I want to schedule an adventure for the middle of the week. In my free time I travel, sail, hike, yada,yada,yada  the usual reasons we love living in the W., and traipse around these amazing Western surroundings.  I am not, however a big fan of pro sports. Unless I personally know someone in the game,  I couldn't care less how the Giants are doing this year. Individual games I can sit through, but I would rather go out and do something active myself.

I'm Really Good at:

Cooking without a recipe

Sudoku (Ok…maybe not really good, but better than many

Figuring out how things work and fixing them

And a bunch of other stuff I remember when off line, then promptly forget when faced with a keyboard.  Who cares? I wouldn't say I am really good at, others have said My photography skills are constantly improving, and I hear I'm not bad!

The First Things People Usually Notice About Me: 

I have no idea what people notice first about me,  most people say I look younger than I am.    Oh how original!! You and everyone else.. sheesh.

TRY THIS: Why, my youthful good looks, of course! And then that I have a great head of hair.

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music and Food:

Books: I don't have a lot of time for books these days, but I did just finally read The Alchemist was aweseome, and I’m reading all of Paulo Coelho’s books. Can't believe it took me so long to find this book! Now I find myself methodically reading through the rest of his books. So far I've gotten through Aleph, 11 minutes, and The Pilgrimage.  

Movies and TV: I prefer a good story line and character development. Action, Comedy, Western, animation, sex/nakedness, are all superfluous. A few that stand out are: Usual Suspects, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, and Breakfast at Tiffany's. I also love Anything by David Mamet. I find the cadence of his writing mesmerizing. TV is similar to Movies. I tend to record a couple of some shows and watch them in pieces when I have time.  And we care about this... why?

Some TV favorites are Mad Men,Weeds, Californication.  House of Lies, Shameless, The Big C, United States of Tara, Rescue Me, Six Feet Under, and I can't get enough of Wilfred. Current Pandora list are: Adele, Lily Allen, Pink, Bill Withers, Regina Spektor, Lana del Ray, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, Maroon 5, Ludivico Einaudi, Bob Marley, Florence and the Machine, The Killers, and Vampire Weekend. In the car I am  listening to NPR or podcasts (Savage Love, This American Life, and Vinyl Cafe are current favorites). We allowed a long list, because music can reveal a lot about someone.

Food: . I love trying new foods, but already love Sushi, Indian, Thai, Southern, and Creole to name a few.    I'm an adventurous eater, but still haven't tried a food truck! Leave an opening for your audience to invite you to try one!

The Six Things I Could Never Do Without:

My kids, art, laughing, adventure, good friends, and my camera

I Spend A Lot of Time Thinking About:

-what is short-term dating and how is that different than activity partners in the OKCUPID profile categories

TRY THIS: How to crack the world's hardest Suduko created by genius Arto Inkala. (invites comments by other puzzle afficiandos and isn't inane, like the original comment. It took us 2 seconds to google search the author of the hardest Sudoku. Be creative!)

On A Typical Friday Night I am:

Doing what we do every other night, Pinky; Planning to take over the world! (We like his original. It's different, and funny)

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit:

That's why it's private! Here's a teaser: I once got my braces caught on it! (think of something embarrassing from when you were younger or something.. no one REALLY expects you to admit something personal on a dating website.)

I'm Looking For:

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21-38  (*Creep alert!* This should read: Ages 33-46.  No 20-something wants to date a 45 y.o man who isn't specTACular. Try dating within a 10 year range of your own age)
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You Should Message Me If:

You live in seattle or very close, excluding areas like Tacoma, Bainbridge Island, etc. I tried this and the traffic made it impossible!I also like younger women as I seem and look much younger than I am.

TRY THIS: You are an independent, youthful, open-minded adventuress who lives in or very close to Seattle.

Check out some of our profile rewrites, and feel free to request one of your own.

and.. check out this fantastic male profile from OKCupid.

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