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How They Met: Phil and Jill Lesh

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Terry, at the dating site, Great Dating Advice (Almost) Daily, relates an anecdote of how musician Phil Lesh met his current wife, Jill Lesh.  This is a great and instructive tale of how to meet someone, celebrity or not.

The "Meet-Cute," Except It's Not a Movie...

In screenwriting terminology, it's called the meet-cute.  You've seen this a million times before.  The girl's dog twists around the lamp pole, tying her to the pole with the leash, and the guy must save her.  Or the guy and girl round the corner at the same time and collide--spilling pink milkshake all over his white dress shirt.  That's the meet-cute.

This is in the same vein, except it's the real thing.  Phil was eating breakfast at the counter of his favorite diner, Station Cafe (no longer in business, but we have managed to find its location at 1013 B St., San Rafael, CA, now Taqueria Bahia) "gloomily muttering mindrot into a handheld voice recorder," as he says in his bio.

The waitress was a slim woman with brown eyes whom he'd gotten to know slightly over the last few months.  When she brought over his food, he says that

Without thinking (or even saying thank you) I pushed the record button, said, ‘And here’s Jill’s phone number,’ and held up the little machine for her to respond. After a startled glance, as if she’d never really seen me before, she clearly enunciated a number into the recorder –one that I knew (and she knew that I knew) was the number of the cafe where we were sitting–and finished with a little smile, as if to say, ‘Your move.’ I muttered something like ‘nice save’ or ‘better luck next time’ as I forced a smile and turned to my breakfast. But after that I kept thinking that she was looking at me a little differently than before.

How to Meet Someone: 4 Lessons

There are so many lessons just in this one little anecdote.  It's a perfect lesson for how to meet someone:

  1. Be Spontaneous:  He held up the recorder without even thinking.  If he had actually thought about it, he might not have done it.
  2. It's Never Too Late:  Love at first glance is fine, but sometimes love develops even if you've been acquainted with someone for awhile.
  3. Don't Be Easy Bait:  By not readily offering up her phone number, she was bantering with him.  It's also known as "flirting."  (See:  How to Tell Someone You're Not Interested in Them)
  4. Don't Be Deterred:  She put up an obstacle.  While he let himself be deterred at first, he eventually pushed through.

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