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Don Draper's OK Cupid Profile

 My self-summary

Let's take it slow.  I don't want to wake up pregnant.  But be forewarned:  if I don't like what's being said, I change the conversation.

I will tell you who I am.  But no matter how clearly I say it, you're going to ignore it.  That's because you want me to be who you want me to be.  That's the message.  The medium is the message, and I am the medium.

Got questions?  Didn't think so.

What I'm doing with my life

Love.  You talk about love.  Love was just invented by guys like me to sell cigarettes.

The first things people usually notice about me

Sit down.  Close the door.  Drink.  No, I'm not asking:  drink, put out your hand.  There you go.

I am the product.  But I'm not here to sell you on me.  You're selling yourself on me.

The six things I could never do without



A stiff drink.

You said six?  I can't think of anything else.

On a typical Friday night I am

Why should I tell you this?  You want to know, you find out.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit

Secrets?  You must be joking.  I have none.  My secret is I cheat at pinochle.  How's that for a dark secret?

You should message me if

If I'm late for our date, it's because I'm doing the cocktail waitress in a back room.  I'll be with you in a minute.

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