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Hi.

We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

Dating Profile Rewrite: Match.com 30 Year Old Male

Sometimes we do a little random sampling of dating profiles from different sites just to get a sense of what what our readers are dealing with. The following profile isn't terrible, but it's definitely not great. Read LBM's Match.com profile and check out our re-write. We have not changed any of the grammar or spelling issues, but have altered a few identifying factoids.

In His Own Words (pre re-write)

I work for at Marketing agency in the river district. I've lived in Louisville for 9 years now and can not find a better city to live in! I've also lived in San Diego for a short period of time and as much as I loved California, Louisville will always be home. I've lived in a lot of different places, and now travel a lot between Arizona and Colorado visiting friends. Just about everyone in family lives in the suburbs outside of Louisville, so going home on weekends means I can see my entire family in 2 days! It also means my couch seconds as a bed whenever a family member or friend is in town. I enjoy going to the gym, drinking beer, jogging and being active. My idea of a great vacation is spent doing something outdoors, but I also do enjoy the relaxation of hearing the sounds of waves on a beach. Currently my new hobby has been animation and design. TV Production is what I got my degree in so I've started taking additional online classes through work. I'm hooked now! I'm looking for someone who isn't on here for the purpose of looking for a free dinner. My idea a the perfect match is someone who is creative side, loves adventures and is happy with what they are doing with their life as well as being in good shape. Doesn't hurt if you are a blonde either, lol! Anything else you want to know, feel free to ask!"

Our profile rewrite suggestions to bring this typical and poorly composed profile up to snuff:

You know that sinking feeling you get when your plane is descending after a great vacation? After years of those kind of landings, I realized that even though I loved living  in California, Arizona, and Colorado, I can't find a better city than Louisville, which is truly home.  Been here for about 9 years now, and love it. Work for a marketing agency, and am trying to spread my wings and follow my newly discovered passion of animation and design by taking some online classes.

Being active is something that makes me feel alive; taking a run on the Riverway, going to the gym, hiking up the hills in my neighborhood..meeting a friend for a bike ride and a beer. As much as I love moving, I am fully capable of relaxing on a beach, listening to the sound of the waves.

I travel a lot to see friends, but I'm also lucky enough to have my family living within an hours drive. Just the right amount of distance, if you know what I mean.

The girl I'm hoping to meet has her own passions to share, is on the creative side, in good physical shape with nice curves, and loves spontaneous adventures.

What to Omit and What to Emphasize?

  1. Again, dear reader, do NOT lead with the negative. Example: I'm looking for someone who isn't on here for the purpose of looking for a free dinner. This is like waving a warning flag to your potential date that you're so annoying or obnoxious or boring that your previous dates took off after dinner with you, never to be heard from again.
  2. Check your damn spelling and grammar. Spell check, friends, spell check, or have someone proofread for you. Need we say more?
  3. Don't emphasize over-involvement with your family or friends to the point where you are warning a potential date or girlfriend that your bachelor pad resembles a Super 8 or Motel 6 crash pad on the weekends. We don't know any ladies who would want to share their hard earned weekends living amongst your homies or bros.
  4. DO focus on what you are passionate about, and give examples, rather than just saying "I like the outdoors".
  5. DO state what you are looking for, or hoping for, but don't narrow the field to "I tend to prefer shapely blondes".

Replace lol's with actual humor and funny comments. "Lol" makes you sound like a 14 year old girl. We want you to sound like a man.

Sometimes we do a little random sampling of dating profiles from different sites just to get a sense of what what our readers are dealing with.

The following profile isn't terrible, but it's definitely not great. Read LBM's Match.com profile and check out our re-write. We have not changed any of the grammar or spelling issues, but have altered a few identifying factoids.

In His Own Words (pre re-write)

I work for at Marketing agency in the river district. I've lived in Louisville for 9 years now and can not find a better city to live in! I've also lived in San Diego for a short period of time and as much as I loved California, Louisville will always be home. I've lived in a lot of different places, and now travel a lot between Arizona and Colorado visiting friends. Just about everyone in family lives in the suburbs outside of Louisville, so going home on weekends means I can see my entire family in 2 days! It also means my couch seconds as a bed whenever a family member or friend is in town. I enjoy going to the gym, drinking beer, jogging and being active. My idea of a great vacation is spent doing something outdoors, but I also do enjoy the relaxation of hearing the sounds of waves on a beach. Currently my new hobby has been animation and design. TV Production is what I got my degree in so I've started taking additional online classes through work. I'm hooked now! I'm looking for someone who isn't on here for the purpose of looking for a free dinner. My idea a the perfect match is someone who is creative side, loves adventures and is happy with what they are doing with their life as well as being in good shape. Doesn't hurt if you are a blonde either, lol! Anything else you want to know, feel free to ask!"

Our profile rewrite suggestions to bring this typical and poorly composed profile up to snuff:

You know that sinking feeling you get when your plane is descending after a great vacation? After years of those kind of landings, I realized that even though I loved living  in California, Arizona, and Colorado, I can't find a better city than Louisville, which is truly home.  Been here for about 9 years now, and love it. Work for a marketing agency, and am trying to spread my wings and follow my newly discovered passion of animation and design by taking some online classes.

Being active is something that makes me feel alive; taking a run on the Riverway, going to the gym, hiking up the hills in my neighborhood..meeting a friend for a bike ride and a beer. As much as I love moving, I am fully capable of relaxing on a beach, listening to the sound of the waves.

I travel a lot to see friends, but I'm also lucky enough to have my family living within an hours drive. Just the right amount of distance, if you know what I mean.

The girl I'm hoping to meet has her own passions to share, is on the creative side, in good physical shape with nice curves, and loves spontaneous adventures.

What to Omit and What to Emphasize?

  1. Again, dear reader, do NOT lead with the negative. Example: I'm looking for someone who isn't on here for the purpose of looking for a free dinner. This is like waving a warning flag to your potential date that you're so annoying or obnoxious or boring that your previous dates took off after dinner with you, never to be heard from again.
  2. Check your damn spelling and grammar. Spell check, friends, spell check, or have someone proofread for you. Need we say more?
  3. Don't emphasize over-involvement with your family or friends to the point where you are warning a potential date or girlfriend that your bachelor pad resembles a Super 8 or Motel 6 crash pad on the weekends. We don't know any ladies who would want to share their hard earned weekends living amongst your homies or bros.
  4. DO focus on what you are passionate about, and give examples, rather than just saying "I like the outdoors".
  5. DO state what you are looking for, or hoping for, but don't narrow the field to "I tend to prefer shapely blondes".
  6. Replace lol's with actual humor and funny comments. "Lol" makes you sound like a 14 year old girl. We want you to sound like a man.

Just remember that crappy profiles are a dime a dozen out there. Tighten yours up with a great profile headline, and check out some of our other examples of good profiles and problem profiles.

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