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Hi.

We're just like you.  We connected through an online dating service--OK Cupid, to be exact.  Our first date was at a fun Seattle tapas-and-sangria bar.  We fell in love.  We are engaged to be married.  We know that you, too, can find love.  Let us help you.

30 Signs Your Relationship Is So Comfortable You're In Danger of Breaking Up

30 Signs Your Relationship Is So Comfortable You're In Danger of Breaking Up

couples dress alike We date so that we can form relationships.  Except for those outliers who date for hook-ups or because they are masochists who really like stringing together lots of short affairs, a long-term relationship is the point of all of these efforts.

The discomfort you have on a first date is not something you want to perpetuate for the rest of your life.  Humans seek comfort.  Comfort is good.  But when does too much comfort become a relationship-eroding thing?

Men

  1. You go unshaven more and more--yet you're not growing a beard.
  2. You wear your white brief-style underwear.  You know, the kind that your Mother dressed you in when you were 5 years old.
  3. You cry in front of her--not for big things like a loved one dying, but for minor things like a co-worker was nasty to you.
  4. You ask her to tend to your personal hygiene, like squeezing pimples or shaving your back hair.
  5. You let her--or ask her to--regularly shop for your clothes and toiletries.

Women

  1. You begin wearing less and less makeup.
  2. You stop shaving underarms and legs.
  3. You ask him to pluck stray hairs or check your teeth for kale.
  4. You wear non awe-inspiring panties when you know he'll be looking at them.
  5. Your conversation with him is indistinguishable from that of your conversations with girlfriends.

Either Partner

  1. You don't close the bathroom door when doing non toilet-related activities.
  2. You don't close the bathroom door when peeing...or pooping.
  3. You sit at a restaurant or coffee shop, or bar, scrolling through your social media..while with your partner!
  4. You wear your ugly, comfortable lounge-around-the-house wear.
  5. You feel comfortable enough to fart in each others' vicinity.
  6. You wear matching clothing--intentional or not.
  7. You go on and on about your health.
  8. You regularly usurp your time with your partner to take calls from friends or family.
  9. You put down your partner...but hey, I'm just doing it jokingly!
  10. You let yourself be put down.
  11. You lounge around naked or near-naked...and not in a sexy way.
  12. You think your breath might be bad, but you don't really care.
  13. You don't care about your partner's opinion when you put on swimwear.
  14. You shower together while discussing the news
  15. You "Mother" or "Father" each other too much--pull up your pants, tie your shoes, did you pack your lunch?
  16. You answer each others' phones--or put your calls on speaker while your partner is in the room.
  17. You consistently expect the other person wash your clothes.
  18. You finish each other's sentences
  19. You have pet names for each other--names so dumb that you'd be embarrassed if anyone else heard them.
  20. You mention ex-partners when you're in a social situation with your current partner.

Remember: some mystery and distance is good. Becoming enmeshed is a sure fire way dampen the fires.  Check out Esther Perel's TedTalk on the secret to desire in long term relationships.

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